


Never meant

by sultana



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bullying, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Pre-Canon, Rejection, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sultana/pseuds/sultana
Summary: A stranger lets the cat of Kakashi's feelings out of the bag for giggles.





	Never meant

**Author's Note:**

> No real warnings for this one, though there's some unpleasant bullying OCs.

The fireside was crowded with strangers. Only three, a group of teenage chunins they'd rescued, but too many for Kakashi's taste. They chatted, unconcerned by his silence as he ignored them, organised his kit. Waited for his team to come back. Waited for Minato-sensei to come back.

The girl in the group plopped down next to him. She was the same age as Rin, they knew each other from the Academy. Rin had been polite in response to her baiting earlier, but he saw something he didn't expect in her eyes. Dislike. Kind, patient, reasonable Rin didn't like her, and that immediately put him on alert with them. From the way the others laughed as she sat down, he was right to be wary. He tensed, ignored her. Kakashi hated small talk anyway, found it pointless, but these chunins weren't aiming for that. They wanted amusement and at his expense. 

"So we know Rin and Obito-kun have crushes. How about Kakashi-kun? Who do you have a crush on?" As if he'd tell them. He continued to ignore her, saw her tap her chin in thought, out of the corner of his eye. "Hmm. Well, I think I know anyway, even if you think you're too good to talk to us." A cold dread gathered in his stomach, sunk down before he dismissed it. They couldn't know. They had only met hours before, he'd been with his team for ages and they hadn't noticed. This was a feint, an attempt to get him to confess to something without actually knowing anything. Did they think he was an idiot? He continued to ignore her. 

"He's handsome, isn't he? A real pretty boy. All the girls are wild about him. So cool too! He was really heroic when he rescued us earlier, and he swept me up in his arms. Even my heart was beating a little faster!" More laughter. 

"It's a shame though, that he's only got eyes for one person. She's a real beauty, but she's kind of a ball-buster too, you know? Typical redhead! I'd be much nicer to him if I was dating him. Wouldn't you be too, Kakashi-kun?" She knew. She knew and was just taunting him now. If he kept ignoring her, he could deny it, Minato-sensei would never find out. A muscle twitch in his face. He heard the smug, knowing noise she made in response. The reaction, completely involuntary, had betrayed him.

"So it's true. You are in love with Minato-san." He should have denied it, not reacted in any way. Already failed, failed even harder when he got up in a rush, turned to walk away. Shameful confirmation that they were right as his panic overrode his good sense. Nobody had noticed before. Kakashi got away with it, never thought anyone else would notice. His secret to keep forever. His instincts screamed to remove himself from the situation, as fast as possible, and he obeyed.

He turned and bumped into a chest, someone standing silently behind him. Only one person could sneak up on him like that. 

"Kakashi?" Oh. Oh no. He knew, the one person above all that he didn't want to know. The shame lit up inside him, started to consume him as he pushed past Minato. The sudden heavy silence around the fire only made it worse as he walked away, kept walking into the forest. The sick, heavy, humiliated feeling sat in his stomach, felt like a physical weight slowing him down even as he hurried. If he kept walking, maybe he'd walk straight off the face of the earth, vanish entirely. 

Kakashi might have not said it, but it was his fault. His fault for reacting, for having a crush on Minato, for loving him more than anyone. He knew feelings were a weakness, dangerous and let himself sink into them anyway. He'd ruined it. Minato would be disgusted, wouldn't let him be near him anymore. Would think everything was a front, that Kakashi only respected him because he wanted him. He didn't, the respect always came first. That didn't change that Kakashi had betrayed his trust, harbouring feelings for him when he shouldn't, though. Taken advantage of his good nature and kindness. How repulsive. 

"Kakashi." The hand on his arm stopped him dead. He wanted to run, not have this conversation, but he couldn't ignore the request in Minato's voice. "I'm not angry with you. Let's just talk for a minute, okay?" He nodded but couldn't turn around to face him. The hand stayed on his arm, warm, comforting, even in these circumstances.

"I've, ah, had some suspicions for a while now, but you know I don't like inferring with your personal lives." The realisation that Minato knew, of course he did, made Kakashi's heart sink. "Unfortunately, now I've been forced to, sorry." The hand moved from his arm to his head. Minato's hand touched his hair, patted his head before moving away, made Kakashi blush furiously. Minato didn't do that so often now, used to do it all the time. Did he stop because they had other team members now, people who might object to favouritism? Or was it because he knew how it made Kakashi feel and didn't want to encourage it? It felt humiliating. He didn't want him to let go.

"I'm sorry, sensei."

"You don't need to apologise, I'm not angry with you. It's normal to get a crush on someone you admire a lot, especially at your age. I was a little relieved you could. It's harmless, so I wasn't going to mention it. I figure you could have it for as long as you needed it, until you found someone else."

Kakashi felt conflicted. Minato knowing and not minding was unexpected, a relief, but it's not like he said either. It's not just because he admired Minato! It was more than hero worship gone too far. He sincerely, honestly, loved Minato, would die for him. There couldn't be anyone else, it was unimaginable. 

"I love you." The confession he promised he'd never make slipped out so easily, even as he immediately regretted it. He knew Minato's answer, the sigh before he replied only confirmed it.

"Oh, Kakashi. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not the right person for you. You should save it for someone who will love you back like that." The words were kind, a gentle rejection. It made the cut of them even deeper as he wilted. Thoughtful, considerate, and absolutely final. He didn't want someone else, some other idiot out there. He wanted Minato. 

Minato didn't want him. It wasn't that kind of love. The bitterest taste in his mouth, being so close and yet so, so far away.


End file.
